Tags

I got tagged today...and that reminded me that I had been tagged a little while ago (and totally forgot! Sorry Lisa!). So here are both responses. First, a reading meme.

The rules:

1. Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the 5th sentence.

4. Post the next 3 sentences.

5. Tag 5 people.

The book I'm reading is "Mark's Story", by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. It is from a series about the gospel writers. Really good so far!

Here's the sentences:
"And He also asked us, 'Is a lamp brought to be put under a basket or under a bed? Is it not to be set on a lampstand? For there is noing hidden which will not be revealed, nor has anything been kept secret but that it should come to light."

Now, I realize that since the author is quoting Jesus, I might as well have chosen the Bible, so here's another book that is our family read aloud. I couldn't write from pg 123 because it was non-sense so I chose the last of the sentences we read last night from "The Lamplighter", by Maria S. Cummins (1854).

""Are you afraid to see me die, Gertrude?" asked Mrs. Sullivan, an hour before her death. On Gertrude's answering that she was not, "Then turn me a little towards you," said she, "that your face, my darling, may be the last to me of earth." It was done, and with her hand lacked fast in Gertrude's and a look that spoke the deepest affection, she passed away."

Now, on to the 5 (useless) things about me meme. I'm pretty sure I got hit with this one a long time ago, but here's a fresh perspective:

The rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself with pictures.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post and list their names (linking to them).
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving a comment at their blogs.

(or you can let them find out reading your blog!--I just added that part! :))

1. I love jar candles.
2. Someone put a dead mouse in my desk drawer at work once. She had forgotten that I had the authority to fire her. She wasn't around much longer. Not because of just the mouse, but her mean spirit made her impossible to work with.
3. I yearn to learn to play the cello.
4. I have actually prayed my son will become a chiropractor-heehee! :)
5. I knew I would marry my husband the second he confessed that he had been pining for me without my knowledge.

So there you have it. I don't have any pictures to share today; maybe in the spring when I'm not so pale and the sun is shining!

Rather than tag ten, I'll tag five and let you choose (if you choose to play) which meme you prefer to answer! :)

Dana @ Simple Gifts
Joni
Renae
Jennifer
Melissa @ Bright Star

Hidden Savings

After my post on True Frugality, I was thinking about our recent decision to banish boxed cereal from our home. It began with the whole white sugar/white flour purge (to help build immune system and naturally protect against things like the flu), which led to the choice of more natural, healthier, and way more expensive brands, which ended with a processed food ban.

So not only did we quit buying, and thus eating, said boxed cereals, but we replaced them with lots of yummy, wholesome meals (which we are eating together and since they take longer, are having more quality time in the a.m.). I knew we would be saving approximately $180 a month because the cereal at an average of $4 a box--with about a box a day, was probably that and more.

What I had forgotten to include in the equation was the fact that it cut the kids milk intake in HALF! That's 3 gallons of milk a week at $6/gallon (organic). So, $18x52 weeks/12 months=$78 a month! For a grand whopping total of $258.

Do you know how much $258 a month can save? When paid on our debt, we'd save even more moolah not paying interest, which gets us out of debt quicker AND is less time the husband has to work to pay it! More time at home=happier and healthier family!

As far as what we're eating instead, it's meals that are mere pennies compared to the big whopping dollars! True frugality.

All because of a boxed cereal ban!

True Frugality

I'm really confused by what a lot of people are calling frugal living. I'm always reading about moms who cut coupons in the name of frugality. They not only cut coupons, they collect individual store coupons and post about their conquests trekking from one store to another garnering deals on shaving cream and hair color. They claim victory upon victory in the purchase of numerous items for nearly nothing. They often gloat and brandish their coupon madness for all to see. Ninety-nine cent packages of hot-dogs are "the bomb!"

This way of thinking is so strange to me. To me all that is absolute slavery.

First off, "them that do" are slaves to the "bargain". They have to have "it" if "it's" a "deal". If they have a coupon, or there's a sale, they have to GO. Worse than all that, they go from store, to store, to store, to store to get "it". They spend hours cutting, organizing and pondering sales flyers. They plan their weeks around sales. They are made happy by saving "something" and are giddy at the thought of the next "savings". They drive and drive endlessly to get it. Where do they come by all that time?! It baffles me. How is that frugal living?

I'm all for saving, but what do these folks really get out of it? To me slavery is when you "have" to do something "because...". You have to go to CVS because you can get 5 of these with 2 coupons and the sale and the rebate for 4.5 cents! You HAVE to get your dry goods HERE because they are 25 cents cheaper.

I have a cousin like this. She can not shop at one grocery. She has to hit them all. She spends hours with her Sunday paper memorizing, cutting and planning her purchases. Why not just go when you need to! Why not buy just what you need? If you are using coupons, most likely you are acting on the dictates of the manufacturer. Is it really something you need? If it is, great! But how often is it...really? Is it really frugal living to "live" for the next "deal"?


What about true frugality? True frugality, to me, is using a bit less. It's finding ways to change your lifestyle for "less". It's sometimes about spending MORE so you can LIVE. You can't LIVE on Ding Dongs no matter how cheap you get them. I see more coupons for "Ding-Dongs" than I do for milk. Won't you be better nourished buying quality all-natural meat than hot-dogs?

True frugality for me is buying toilet paper at Kroger instead of Target because if I have to go to Target it takes an entire afternoon, 2 whiny kids who hate being there, a MINimum of $200 a trip, which always includes something I didn't plan to buy (because that's really what Target is for!), 8 miles more gas than the grocery store, eating fast food (yuck!) and complete and utter exhaustion. Not to mention all the other things I couldn't do because I HAD to go there...,

I didn't get to bake my bread, read that history book to son, practice ballet with daughter, rest! I didn't get to look out my window at the snow falling or put pictures in my scrapbook. I didn't get to sit by the fire and drink a cup of tea while visiting with a friend, I didn't get to call my dad.

Don't get me wrong...I love Target. The point is, sometimes I choose to spend more and buy a few things at Kroger because I'm there and I want TO GO HOME AND STAY HOME! It's so worth my time (financially and otherwise) to make that choice. That is true frugality to me. Staying home more. Not putting wear and tear on your self, your family, your car, your self, to shop, shop, shop.. wearing your self out!!

True frugality is spending money to learn to plant a garden to sustain your family rather than spend the time cutting coupons. True frugality is about priorities. True frugality is about consumption and choices. It's about saving the cable bill so you can buy games to play with your kids. It's about saving the cost of a Wii so that your children will have time to read the best books ever written!

As you can imagine, I could go on and on. I know that there is something appealing to every mom in "saving" and finding bargains. We're drawn to info about it like moths to flames. But do we remember that the gate is wide that leads to destruction. When we run, the race of endurance we better be running the right race. Idolatry comes in all shapes and sizes, even coupon shapes and sizes.

My prayer for myself is that my frugality will come in the wisdom to make good choices and pass that wisdom on to my children. We don't have an abundance to spend. We still have debt we're working our way out of, but that has more to do with God and his provision and lessons for us, as anything.

I write all this not to judge anyone who loves to cut those coupons, but just as a reminder to myself that it's okay for me to buy wooden spoons at Kroger instead of the dollar store. After all, I'm cooking healthy meals for my family using them...instead of going to Taco Bell.

My Dream Library

STIFTSBIBLIOTHEK ST. GALLEN

Choose your favorite here!

Teaching Bible

For the last two years we have been using the Judah Bible Curriculum. This, to me, is more of a scope and sequence based on Principle Approach, than it is a "curriculum". There is nothing "done" for you, other than the topics laid out over a four year rotation. The notes are a guide for teaching principally and historically, with one objective being to see all of scripture as ONE story.

When we bought it, it immediately became apparent that it was going to take work. I was committed to teaching principally and Biblically. I wanted my children to understand God and scripture in a way that many adults don't. I yearned for their hearts to be wholly His and their wisdom to be of heavenly things.

But it takes work. It takes weekly effort. Often hours of preparation. The thing is, it's His Word. It's not planning a lesson on Mozart or Little House on the Prairie. It's His Word. To me, there can be nothing more important.

It saddens me when I hear people wanting to find something easier. I know I struggle with this in many of our subjects, but with Bible I can't go there. It's that important to me. That time as much nourishes me, as I know it will nourish my kids. The idea that God has as much for me to learn as two little ones, humbles me.

Very early on I realized that it wasn't so much about teaching the Bible, or even learning the Bible, it was about growing relationships rooted and grounded in the King of Kings, the Creator, the Alpha and Omega, the Son of Man, the Lamb of God.

I know that many believers just don't know how to go about teaching Bible. I know I've struggled at different times and to varying degrees with my own time in the Word, and imagine that most do as well. This was, therefore, an opportunity to change that. Because I'm practical by nature, having the scope and sequence was a great start. Also, having a meaning to our homeschool--a methodology which both exemplifies purpose and learning style, gave me the "how". This was our Principal Approach. From there, I knew it had to be just me and the Holy Spirit. And no! that's not always comfortable and it's definitely not easy. And yes. Sometimes I look at "packaged" programs and my brow furrows, but I say "no". And sometimes I even try to do it in my own power. It doesn't work.

The other day on a loop I saw someone selling Judah Bible and their comment was that they were replacing it with a history program. Bible is HIStory but Bible is not "History". They are very different for learning purposes. I was telling my husband that if I could do nothing else, I would do just Bible and it would be enough. Historically speaking, folks used to only have the Bible to teach with. They learned to read with it and they learned about life from it. Why is it not often good enough?

When we talk to people about homeschooling and hear the inevitable "I could never do that", I always tell them truthfully that God gives you what you need to accomplish the task set before you. Whether physically, emotionally, or spiritually, He supplies.

One resource I feel very blessed with is E-Sword. If you are not familiar with it, it is a free Bible package download. A ton of different versions are available as well as Webster's 1828 Dictionary (which is the only legitimate dictionary, as far as I'm concerned! :)), commentaries like Matthew Henry and the really awesome Treasury of Scripture Knowledge. You can have the Septuagint, the Textus Receptus and much more.

I can start a "topic" for a new lesson, drag and drop scripture, definitions, and commentary notes right to it. I can write all my own notes and questions, search the scriptures, highlight and change the layout, then print it. In other words, it's invaluable! We may think we are starting with a bare slate when we choose a program like Judah Bible, but with God there is no BARE slate.

Maybe the fact that many don't want to teach it is a reflection of what is happening in many churches. I don't know. It seems like that makes sense, but it's sad for whatever reason. My hope would be that in any homeschool community, whether at home or via computer, that mom's would help, support, and lift up each other in teaching God's Word. Share your plans, your struggles and your light bulb moments. Share how the children are growing in their relationships with the Lord. AND that they would never settle for "good enough".

Burts Bees: The "Good"--Products Review

I figure it's time to tell you one of the best natural products I've discovered. Actually, two of them...okay, three. But I'll stop there for now.

Just about everyone's heard of Burt's Bees, but have you tried 'em? When I began my quest for all things "non-chemical", their stuff was the first I tried. Imagine my surprise when I found some real wing-dingers.

The Radiance Body Lotion rocks! Imagine a lotion that is great for body, hands, AND faces. I'm so tired of "chemical peel" type moisturizers. I'm old, and getting older. It's not gonna go the other way! Well, this lotion really does work great. More exciting to me than the "faces" too part, is the leg part. I've NEVER been able to put ANYTHING on my legs. Those hair follicles swell up so itchy and mean that it's enough to make you cry--and I have, often. It's always been a chore to keep my legs in sunscreen in the summer. They don't like anything EXCEPT Burt's Bees. Sweet. And oh so soft. Really nice.

Next, I fell head over heels in goo-goo love for their Peppermint Shower Soap. I'm down to my last little scrap and I'm so sad 'cause at $4 a bar, it's gonna be a rare commodity. It really is the most wonderful soap, though. Love it.

Lastly is the Medicated Lip Balm. Goodbye Carmex, hello perfection. Carmex is great and all, but it always gave me little pimples along my lip line. (TMI?) Ick. This stuff is worth it's weight in gold! If I had any.

So there's my two-cents worth. Definitely the "good" side of the natural products out there.

PS. I keep trying their shampoo, but tonight after my hair dried my 8yo son said, "What'd you do to your hair?" And the look on his face said, "Whatever you did, it's NOT good."

Breakfast Recipes!

I've been asked for a couple of Menu Plan Monday recipes. We are continuing to make healthier choices, including not buying processed foods. The money we save on that, we are using for better ingredients which are more nourishing and go farther. We are discovering that by eating healthier and heartier, we have less need to snack!

First, I had to include the Walnut Waffles, which are so luscious and good for you. We had them this morning and I've made a note to self to mix the dry ingredients together the night before. Though not really time consuming, having that and everything put away, will definitely save time in the a.m.

1 1/2c whole wheat flour (or 1 c all-purp + 1/2c ww)
1 1/2 t baking powder (I like the non-aluminum kind)
1/2 t baking soda
1/2 t (sea) salt
2 T brown sugar Suganat (optional)
2 c buttermilk (I use powdered which requires 8T + 2 c water--this keeps me from constantly throwing away buttermilk!)
1/4 c coconut oil (or canola, but coconut is better for you!)
3/4 c finely chopped walnuts (heart healthy!)
1/2 c raisins (optional--I did not use)

Mix dry, then wet. Don't over mix. Stir in walnuts last.

I use a big waffle iron w/4 squares. It made about 12-14 squares. The husband left early, so we had plenty of leftovers which I layered with wax paper in a plastic 1/2 gallon bag (sucked out all the air with a straw) and froze for next week! Yeah! I used a 1/4 c to pour it so that I wouldn't over flow (which I did when I used the 1/2 c! :)) Be sure to spray your iron w/oil before cooking.

Next, Grahamcake Pancakes. I have not yet made these, but will add my thoughts when I have!

3/4 c (whole wheat) flour
3/4 c graham cracker crumbs (I'm intending to use graham flour, which Hodgson Mill makes and is available at Kroger--cheaper & not processed like the crackers--at least, that's my thoughts before actually trying it :)!)
1 T baking powder (non-alum)
1/4 t (sea) salt
1 c milk (for thinner pancakes add another 1/2 c)
2 T melted butter
1 egg
1/2 c chopped pecans (optional; add last)

Combine dry ingredients in lg. bowl. Combine wet in sm. bowl. Pour wet into dry. Mix well for thick batter. Cook on hot griddle over med-high heat.

Lastly, Skillet Granola
This recipe excites me for some reason; probably because it's fast! I also haven't made it yet, but we make other granola all the time. Granola is so flexible as to what you can add and subtract. I may try adding a bit of vanilla to this one. It's a small recipe which begs to be experimented with! Heehee!

In a lg nonstick skillet over med. heat, melt 2 T butter.
Add 2T honey,
2T sesame seeds &
2T unsalted sunflower seeds

Cook and stir for 2 minutes.
Add 1 c Quick Oats and 3T chopped walnuts.
Toss and turn w/ a couple of wooden spoons for about 5 minutes.
Spread on waxed paper to cool.
Serve warm or cold.
Store in covered container.

I confess, the Vanilla/Almond Oatmeal (which I was asked about) is boxed and is the last of our "processed" breakfast cereals. It is "Simple Harvest" brand and the kids do like it and it is healthier than most! Expensive though.

I'd love to hear from anyone who tries these recipes, so keep in touch!

James Whitcomb Riley: The Hoosier Poet

I'm delighted to have selected another poet to continue our Poem-A-Day adventure. After our last fiasco, I decided to pick a "sure thing" in the delight department--James Whitcomb Riley. Besides the fact that I have several very, very old volumes that have been handed down through my family, and besides the fact that he was a local, his poems are very different and charming. The "hick"(for lack of a better term :)) dialect that he uses to engage the reader is fun, rather than annoying (at least so far!) and really shows his individuality.

I haven't found a good, simple biography on him yet, but I'm sure I will. For now, we just went with the most well-known general info and began reading.

I am using my books, and also the collection from Ambleside. I made a picture/poster for our school room and I use a simple biography sheet that I made up. I'll work on making that available to anyone who may want it.

We also have the honor of having both of his homes--both upheld as museums--here in our city, as well as his grave. We are also fortunate to have NOT had to visit the children's hospital named after him--may we never have to. Ah, field trips! Gotta love that!

Menu Plan Monday: Feb. 18-24

I just have to say that undertaking this little (read: huge!) meal planning venture (as in Menu Plan Monday) is most aggravating when said "Monday" comes around so quickly and there is little chance you've finished off the meals from the previous week. Whew! I just had to get that out!

I just purged my fridge and threw away way too much! Since beginning to cook more, we are a bit over-run with leftovers and the 'ole eyes are often bigger than the stomach. Those beautiful pictures in the cookbooks are quite luring sometimes. Note to self: Curb the meal size.

Oh! The best news about this Menu Plan Monday thing (besides the fact that we are eating so much better) is that husband totally understands the "must shop on Monday" to the point that since I now have my own vehicle, he's OFFERED to keep the kids at his office while I shop. *sob, sob* :) What a HUGE blessing! He sooooo made my day--well, that and little girl crawling in bed to snuggle this morning...oh, and sweetest boy sneaking in to kiss my cheek while I was praying.

So, here 'tis. I'm going to start marking new items and I'm going to include at least one recipe for you too.

Breakfast:
Monday-Vanilla Almond Oatmeal, clementines
Tuesday-French Toast, bananas
Wednesday-Scrambled eggs, sausage, sliced pear
Thursday-Cinn/Nutmeg French Toast, bananas
Friday-Baked Steel-Cut Oatmeal, turkey bacon, oranges
Saturday-Grahmcake Pancakes, sausage, bananas *new*

Sunday-Skillet Granola, yogurt, sliced apples *new*

Lunch:
Monday-L/O Pizza & veggies, applesauce
Tuesday-Raman Noodles w/Egg & Peas, Pears
Wednesday-Sunflower Seed Butter & Jelly, Carrots, Apples
Thursday-L/O BBQ Pork Sandwiches, corn & fresh fruit salad
Friday-Spicy Cheese Quesadillas, carrots, applesauce
Saturday-L/O

Sunday-[Church Potluck: Greek theme--Greek salad & feta and basil cheese spread *new*

Dinner:
Monday-Chili, cornbread & pears
Tuesday-BBQ Pork Roast, salad, & plums
Wednesday-Coconut Chicken (see recipe below!), broccoli, & fresh fruit salad
Thursday-Sloppy Turkey Joes, green beans, applesauce
Friday-Rosemary Citrus Pork Chops, salad, & pears
Saturday-Ham & Cheese Omelets, toast, oranges

Sunday-Roast Chicken, mixed vegetables, plums

A favorite recipe I'll use this week is for....

Coconut Chicken.
Mix 1 c sweetened (or unsweetened, if you like) coconut with
1/2 c. flour,
1/2 t. salt,
1/4 t. pepper &
1/4 t. garlic powder
...in a med. bowl.

Dip chicken cut into strips into a lightly beaten egg (w/a little milk added).
Place in a shallow baking pan.
Drizzle with 1/3 c melted butter.
Bake at 400 degrees for 25 minutes or till chicken is browned and cooked through, turning once.

FYI...It doesn't really "brown", but you'll know when it's cooked... and you have to be a bit careful turning it so the coating doesn't fall off. I suggest a bit of butter or spray into the pan before putting the chicken in.

This is so unbelievably yummy, you'll want to make a dbl batch for a snack or lunch. (Rats! Why didn't I think of that this week?!) I *think* this originally came from Rachel Ray.

For more great Menu Plan Mondays, or to participate, go here!

Totally Fun Art Site: Jackson Pollock

I just came across this site and it is irresistable!

Warning: Highly addictive!

Now you know what to put in that blank frame that you've been hanging on to! :)

"Rail" Laying

I've written a couple of times (like here) about one of my favorite resources of all time: "Laying Down Rails" from Simply Charlotte Mason. This compilation of all things "Charlotte" put about in a manner which is both practical and inspiring, takes me to a very happy place when it comes to rearing children. It's focus on habit and character has been a pivotal spot for me.

All that to say that it's really good stuff and I, for one, drink it in. My only *sigh* is that I make mistakes along the way. And why do they always seem like the end of the world? Well, in all my recent angst about what I'm supposed to be doing--or what comes next-- the Lord keeps bringing to the forefront of my mind's eye foundations and simplicity. Enjoyment of learning and learning to be "keepers". Not just keepers of "things", but keepers of ourselves in the presence of God.

My growing son is expressing himself more and is saying that Daddy is for play--and you know what comes next...Mommy is for work. Interesting, isn't it? Though Daddy is gone working all day, the time he spends in the presence of his family is play. Mommy's time--all spent in the presence of family is all spent at work. Teaching, cleaning, guiding, preparing. This is so true and so depressing! A mother's work IS never done. Though we spend quality time together reading and learning, to him it's not "play". This has really had me in a whirl as I've realized I can't really change it, but I can change the perception, (that I have no time to play) which I believe is really the issue.

Attitude, habit, character. Teaching it, exhibiting it, living it. Not easy stuff, but foundational none the less. And more importantly, Biblically principled.

I'm so much a practical soul that it's hard for me to deal with concepts alone, but I feel I must "decide" on a plan (which for me is the practical part) for times when school is not a pleasure. Or for when I'm too busy and yet my children need my presence for play.

I remember sometime way back in my 20's (way back) when I, as a growing young woman discovering herself, and realized I must never make a decision during a certain time of thee...you know. Period. Too emotional. Not a good time to be deciding things. I carried that with me into my true adulthood and it has saved me so much grief! And it has taught me that decision making can be an instrument of both good and harm.

So I'm trying to make some decisions about how to proceed with our days. I do not want to continue to look back and have even the twinkling of regret. So much has gone so well as we've schooled, that I know that it can be even more so. I don't want to put off any longer what they will not be able to recover as they grow. That truly goes for myself as well. How they perceive me does matter and will shape other relationships. I want their relational foundations at home and in Christ to be what they build on.

Now that I've decided to make some decisions, I'm on my way. I hope and pray each decision will be for profit and victory in our growth as the individuals that God has created us to be. I know that it will come little, by little, but it will come. I also know that each little bit will affect every other bit, big and little.

I'm going to start with my Bible beside my "Laying Down Rails" and pray my little heart out. Whatever discernment comes, I really hope to make those decisions, with no turning back.

A Pile of Mushy Goo

Yes! My brain is a pile of mushy goo. I totally blame it on "February" because me and "February" don't get along too well. Some of you are planting in your yards, swimming in your "watering holes" and soaking in that very foreign "thing"--what is it? On yeah. Sunshine! I'm frozen solid, house-bound for all fun purposes, and wore out from colds, inactivity, short days, dryness. I'm not however, worn out from too much snow! Which would be a pleasant change of pace.

Instead, my head is swimming with ideas. Most of them are school and homemaker related. I'm struggling with feeling of dis-satisfaction. Mediocrity is creeping into everything and I find that so appalling and unacceptable, yet I feel like a deer in headlights. It always seems to come down to time with me, and though I'm a total believer in God as the super-natural time giver, I'm thwarted by my own inability to "rise up". As in, get my fat rear out of this chair and DO.

There are advantages to the 'ole computer. I know I don't need to make that argument here. Really, I just want to do everything--do it now--and do it well. Let's not forget...with time to spare! So much of it is in my head and I don't know how to get it out. I've tried beating my head against the wall, but I think that's what put me in this position in the first place! :)

Usually I'm really good with taking a position or an idea and running with it. Unfortunately, I'm not very good at doing just one thing at a time. All...all...alll!! I can't clean out a drawer. I have to clean out the room. I can't plan one subject. I have to plan them all. I can't do one craft project. I need one in each medium, all at once. And if I could just stop sneezing....

I'm hoping that this is my rant before the big wind which will usher me into a more productive and profitable period. As I checked off our attendance keeping on our calendar today, I noticed we haven't missed a day of school since son's accident Jan. 3rd. Maybe it's just break time. I think that there is a pattern with me--a cycle, if you will. Thankfully, it doesn't seem related to the "other" one. Then I'd truly be insane! So, I'm getting up now and I'm going to make a wonderful, yummy healthy lunch for my family and bake some bread, all while listening to Jerry Williams and Harvest. Maybe then I'll get a clue what I'm supposed to be doing.

Comments

I keep meaning to announce that I've finally figured out this blogger comment thing, and non accept anonymous comments, so all you dears who haven't been able to comment can just click on the link below each post. Please remember that you have to leave some sort of way for me to identify you, or you'll truly be "anonymous"! Blessings!

Decisions

Thank you, dear friends, for your comments, calls, and prayers. Our family celebrated Valentine's Day last night and husband and I had plenty of time to talk about everything that's happening. In some way, I was hoping husband would make the decision for me, and in some ways he did.

Husband's main reasoning for pursuing the issue and seeing to it that this man stay in prison, was that if he had found redemption, or was in any way remorseful, we would have heard from him sometime in the last 20 years. That very fact, and all of the other meaningful arguments regarding consequences, have given me a peace about willingly helping the prosecutor.

It's all still yucky though! I want you to know, husband offered me my hot fudge sundae, but it was too cold, so I substituted a peppermint hot chocolate (lowfat of course) from Starbucks. It made it all better until that whole "scale" thing in the morning.

Now, this parole thing doesn't come up until August, so I have lots of time to dwell on it. The thought, though, that God may have another purpose for this will keep me sane. I'll "dwell" on it, but do so in Him.

Just When You've Forgotten

I'm glad for a bit of a break today. The kids are working on their "on-your-own" lessons and I have a lot to process.

This morning a got a call from the District Attorney's office in Dallas. I lived there many, many years ago. While I was there, there was an incident. You can read my story here. Suffice it to say, I've been tracked down because the case has come up again as the perpetrator (I just used "perpetrator" in a sentence.) is coming up for parole. It's been 20 years.

Apparently, the DA is searching out all of the 18 or so victims to let them know and to stir up (oh yes, it "stirred up" alright.) interest in attending the parole hearing to keep this man in prison.

He had been convicted of serial ra*pe and assault. Multiple concurrent life sentences. He was a 29 year old Bap*tist minister--with a wife and 3 small children.

Yeah.

Ok.

Well...as you can imagine there are about a billion things going through my head. Has he been "reformed"? What kind of prisoner is he? Yuck. Will I be in danger if he gets out? Fun stuff to think about.

It has been so long and though right now it feels like yesterday, it's really not! This DA wants me to judge a man that I am in no position to judge. At one point this man proclaimed to know the Lord. Does he? Has he repented? How am I supposed to know?

According to the DA, he is a "very dangerous man" who is still young (he would be about 50) and capable of much destruction. Though his crimes did not include murder, I can't help thinking, "Don't people learn how to commit crimes in prison?" Maybe after 20 years in prison, instead of a reformed man, we have a murderer to "judge". How am I supposed to know?

They (the DA) wants (of course) 100% "participation" in the process. They are willing to pay expenses. Do I want to see this man? NO. Do I want him to see me? NNOOOO. Do I want to be anonymous and pretend it never happened and continue living my life without the memory of that event? Yes. What am I supposed to do?

I suppose in some sense I'm relieved to know that he's still in prison (I thought he might be out) and that the DA is letting us know. I was a bit surprised how easily they found me since I never left anything but my old address with them; I wasn't married, etc. Kinda dumb, I guess. Big brother IS watching, right? Uggh. And now they are sending paper work.

Words that were so conforting to me at the time are still with me. The Lord is still with me! What would the Lord have me do? I'm confident in Him as judge, not in me as judge. I can't remember his name. Isn't that weird? I remember the face...but. I can't. Remember. His name. I didn''t want to tell the DA guy that I couldn't remember his name! Now it's going to bug me and I'll have to think about it or dig up all the old paperwork so I'll know the name of the man who attacked me and has spent 20 years in prison. Great. Makes my day.

I want a hot fudge sundae. With nuts.

What am I supposed to do? Be a good little citizen and prosecute away. Been there, done that. I guess his sentence was life in prison and that's what it should be. I just keep thinking about Chuck Colson and the Prison Ministry. I keep thinking about Corrie Ten Boom's message to prisoners (a video she made sharing the Gospel with prisoners).

Guilt is no longer the issue. Second chances are the issue. Does everyone deserve a second chance? Maybe he's already received his second chance within prison. Maybe that is all irrelevant. How am I supposed to know?

Prayer. I know all I can do is pray. If you think about it, would you pray too. A little wisdom wouldn't hurt me right now.